Woo hoo, a new pope or to give him his full title, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Servant of the Servants of God, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, and my favourite because it makes him sound like a Roman monkey, Primate of Italy.
It also means i can wheel out my best Papal joke about hoping that someone with the name Sicle get's the gig next but unfortunately it seems that the next Pope will not just be a creepy man in a funny hat, but also the harbinger of the end of time as foretold by St Malachy, a 12th Century Archbishop.
Malachy prophesied that the end would come with the election of the 112th pope from that day in 1143 and Pope Ratzinger is Pope number 111 from when St Malachy made his utterances.
The Catholic soon to be formerly known as the Pope has said that he is stepping down as Gods representative on Earth saying that at his age he cannot carry out all his tasks adequately and is losing strength in body and mind and not as is widely expected he woke up this morning and thought 'What the hell am i doing? I'm speaking for a magical man in the sky making people from dust?? I'm a sane person, get me out of here!!'
The Church of England, in the shape of the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, waffled something about God and Churches, i lost interest to be honest, but the favourite in the race to become Gods mouthpiece is Ghanaian Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson whose profile says that he has dedicated himself to performing pastoral work in the local area.
Boring, i prefer the saxophone and piano- playing jazz fan and personal friend of U2's Bono, Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga from Honduras which might make the ceremonies a bit more interesting if he gets to the Vatican organ first and blasts out a bit of 'In The Mood'.
Before i go can i be the first to make the joke that soon he will be known as an ex-Benedict. If that joke turns up anywhere else i got in first.