Hasn't He Gone Yet?

It was up to the Church we would still believe that the Sun went around the Earth, the World was created by an invisible man in the clouds and evolution is a myth but despite getting all the main parts wrong, there are still people who look to the Church for guidance and the Catholics are frantically rubbing their rosary beads today because there is a Pope shaped hole in the Vatican as the latest Pope flies off by helicopter into the sunset.
In one of a few 'final goodbyes', Benny said that there had been moments in his papacy during which God seemed to be sleeping but that must have been one hell of a kip the big guy was taking considering what the Catholics Church have been getting up to for the past 1000 years. 
After his final, final goodbye at 7pm tonight, Benedict's Vatican apartment will be sealed and all
symbols of his Papal authority will be destroyed and then begins the hunt is on for the next guy who will protect child abusers and who would prefer people to die of AIDS rather than condone the use of condoms although there will not be a British representative because our man has been forced to resign due to 'inappropriate behaviour' with young clergymen back in the 80s.
The last tweet from the Pope to his 1.2 billion Catholics read 'Thank you for your love and support. May you always experience the joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives' but if any of the 1.2 billion Catholics are wondering if they want to carry on the strict Catholic rules but want to remain in a Church, they should consider defecting to the Church of England.
Seriously, it's a complete blag and as long as you remember to repent just before you die, you end up going to the same place as all those Catholics who have been sweating on the rhythm method anyway. Give it a go, you will only be replacing one old relic in the Pope for another in the Queen and God saves her according to the song.