Wrong Saint

Every year my husband asks me if i want some flowers for Valentines Day and i reply something along the lines of not wanting anything, it all being a commercial adventure to rip off people and we don't need a special day to show how much we love one another.
Of course if i don't get a card and flowers he will be sleeping on the coach until Boxing Day and scouring the internet for a doctor that could re-attach his testicles but the Church are now saying that St Valentine isn't the saint of love at all, that's Saint Raphael.
'Over the years St Valentine has come incorrectly to be associated with finding love' the Catholics Church explained 'He is the patron saint for those who have already found their soulmate, Saint Raphael is the saint for those looking for love'.
Clare Ward, spokeswoman for the Catholic Enquiry Office, the official body providing information on all things Catholic said 'while the distinction between the saints has always been clear within the Church it has, over the years, been blurred outside'.
The Mrs Ward obviously went mad and said 'There is a lot of evidence to suggest that young people who have tapped into prayer groups have found partners. Those who have exhausted traditional routes like online dating should try spiritual networks. Why not come along to a prayer group, it could be your lucky night.'
Yep, obviously been sniffing the incense again but there you have it, don't pray to Saint Valentine, pray to Saint Raphael and if you want a night of passion and a cup of tea with a game of bingo afterwards head down to the local Catholic Church.