Today Is...Blue Monday

Blue Monday usually falls on the third Monday of every New Year, and is considered the most depressing day on the calendar due to temperature, days since the last pay day, days until the next bank holiday and the average hours of daylight and today is the third Monday so grab a glass of something bland and let's celebrate the most depressing day of the year.
Despite all that's going on, everything is going to be OK. I promise. Don't worry, i wouldn't lie to you, trust me, everything is going to be OK, even though it's not.
Things are scary, but they could be worse. Actually, they're going to get worse but i did say i wouldn't lie to you. Nope, i won't do that. Glass half full and all that but then it doesn't matter if the glass is a glass of cold sick.
Everything is going to be OK. There will be these moments when everything works out brilliantly and the secret is to not over analyse everything that happens in your day, imagine the events in your day like a cheese and pickle sandwich, taken altogether you have a huge plate full of cheese and pickle sandwiches and they are all yours! Savour them and eat them all up. Yummy.
Now consider that when you're out of sandwiches, you will cease to exist. Gone in a poof of smoke so slow down eating those sandwiches, chum!
Take tiny bites. Enjoy but eat your cheese and pickle sandwiches wisely. Live each day as if it could be your last, screaming and crying and begging because holy Christ on a pogo-stick it's your last day so on second thought, live each day as if it was your second to last. Yes, that's much better.
Hug your loved ones, tell your friends how much you appreciate them, make love or paint a picture, watch the sunrise and leave the screaming and crying and begging until the following day.
Everything is going to be OK. Never lose hope, there's always hope although hope doesn't mean things will actually turn out for the best but remember that despite everything, someone, somewhere, is having the best day of their life, not you obviously but you can still embrace the day, enjoy the cheese and pickle sandwich and defiantly knock back that glass of cold sick and say i am here World whatever you throw at me, even if we really have jiggered the entire effing lot, well done us, i will carry on because life seems pretty good from here.
Ok sometimes it's like an orgy with virgins, i mean it sounds like a good idea, then you get in there and you're kind like, no, don't put that there..., anyway, you get my point, i'm chalking today up as a win or a score draw or even a respectable loss but whatever, Blue Monday can sod off, everything will turn out well because despite everything, i have a glass half full of cold sick and just like every other day, i will wing it in the desperate hope that something better will come along, right? Right...?