Footloose In Chechnya

The Chechyn Culture Minister, Musa Dadayev, doesn't figure in many of my blog posts but he is a man who walks to the beat of his own drum, as long as that beat isn't less than 80 beats per minute (BPM) or more than 116 because he's gone and banned all music that is 'too slow or too fast' to conform to the Chechen mentality.
He has now given music artists until 1 June to rewrite music that doesn't meet the criteria to allow them to continue performing it in public which must be a nightmare for Chechen radio stations who will be unable to play many Rythm & Blues (average 70 bpm) Reggae songs (75 bpm),  Jazz (135 bpm), Disco (120bpm), Techno (135 bpm) or Rock (125 bpm) although Hip-hop with an average bpm of  85-115 will be perfect so Cypress Hill and Run DMC should be expecting some royalty checks paid in Rubles shortly.
The BPM of a song can be measured roughly by playing a song for 15 seconds, count how many times you tap along to it (usually the drum beat) and then after 15 seconds times it by 4 to get the beats per
minute although i would avoid  'Thousand' by Moby which holds the record of 1,015 bpm.  
It got me thinking if i, god forbid, ever ended up in Chechnya with my MP3 player, what songs would have a rather large customs officer standing over me ordering me to delete before they let me in and  
that's most of the punk stuff such as Green Day (Average 133 bpm), the Sex Pistols (average 150 bpm) and Ramones (Average 180 bpm) would have to go as would most of the decent Rock and Metal stuff such as Metallica's Whiskey In The Jar (133 bpm) and Madhouse (164 bpm) by Anthrax so of my Top 10 in the Lucy's Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians, who could i continue to listen to in my Grozny hotel room?
Sweet Child O' Mine (123 bpm) is out as is Hotel California (148), Led Zeppelin's Rock and Roll (170), Teenage Kicks (135), Anarchy in the UK (134), Platters Only You (71) Johnny B. Goode (168), Manic Monday (122) and the only two that would be left are I Don't Wanna Grow Up by the Ramones (91) and Stairway to Heaven (82) which isn't great.
My first thought then was to scratch Checnya as a holiday destination next year but on reflection, a country where you can go and legally not hear Disco, reggae or jazz...hmm, lets not be hasty with binning that Chechnya brochure.