Not Finding Nessie

Loch Ness is a 700 square mile lake in the Highlands of Scotland and there is a myth that in it's 788 feet depths there is some sort of large aquatic creature inhabiting it.
Reports of a monster inhabiting Loch Ness date back to ancient times with stone carvings by the Picts depict a mysterious beast with flippers and even the Church got involved in the 7th Century with St. Columba who bravely intervened when the monster bit a swimmer and told it firmly to 'Go Back' which it did because, you know, God and all that.
In 1933 the Loch Ness monster’s legend began to grow when the Scottish Government smelt a tourist attraction and built a road to Loch Ness and soon afterwards sights of the monster increased including one couple saying a 'dragon or prehistoric monster walked directly in front of them so the Scots sent experts to find it and one guy said he found tracks which turned out to be made by a fake hippopotamus leg the guy just happened to own.
In 1934 English physician Robert Kenneth Wilson photographed the creature and when it was printed in the newspaper the picture became famous and certain that something was down there, researchers began seriously exploring the Loch with Sonar equipment  and in 2018 they conducted a DNA survey of Loch Ness to determine what organisms live in the waters but no sign of monsters but plenty of fish and eels.
Using the latest equipment, researchers have been trying again to find the elusive Nessie but after weeks looking they did find something, they found that Scottish golfers are awful because what they discovered was over 100,000 golf balls.
It obviously takes a lot of balls to play Golf when there is a possible monster lurking in the water hazard.