Tuesday, 31 December 2024

2024 Father Time & The Grim Reaper

At 11.55 on 31st December every year, Death and Father Time meet for the only time in the year and use that time to discuss the year which has just gone before going their separate ways for the next twelve months and this year when the old man arrived the Grim Reaper was hunched over his book of the dead and scribbling furiously.
'Busy?' asked Time as he sat on the bench beside him and Death held up a bony finger, then after a few seconds slapped the book shut and declared: '63 million'.
'Deaths? That sounds like a lot' said Time but Death shrugged and said, 'There were 134 million births so they ended up plus 73 million, those humans go at it like bunnies. Don't know where they are going to put them all to be honest' and laid down the book beside him.
'I just make sure the new year arrives, what they do with it is no concern of mine' Time shrugged and pulled the tattered 2024 sash over his head and picked up the gleaming 2025 one.
'I think the 134 million births explains what they did with it' chuckled Death 'but bless there stupid little souls they are trying their hardest to ensure that i'm kept in work, The Brits and Americans may have stepped back from mass slaughter recently but Israel and Russia have really stepped up their genocidal game'. 
Time looked in the middle distance and turned slowly to Death and asked 'Do you think there will be a time when we aren't needed? and Death rubbed his chin and replied 'I did have concerns a few thousands years ago if you remember when religion was invented and everyone talked about peace and love but it turned out that religion was an absolute boon for the likes of me as they have been peacefully and lovingly killing each other over it ever since'.
Time flattened the 2025 sash across his chest and picked up his giant clock.
'Anyone harvested i may of heard of last year? he asked Death who flicked through his book and read out the names of Donald Sutherland, Quincy Jones, Franz Beckenbauer, David Soul, Steve Wright, OJ Simpson, Shannen Doherty, Sven-Goran Eriksson, Dame Maggie Smith, James Earl Jones, Liam Payne, Alex Salmond, Jimmy Carter and John Prescott.
'Nope, never heard of any of them' he said 'what about that famous music bloke, i saw his name written if for this year?  
'Oopsie...'  said Death flicking through is book, 'always a few that slip through the net, oh well, always next year' and he stood and tucked the book under his arm.
'Same time next year then old friend' waved Time as he disappeared through the Archway to bring in 2025 whistling Cher's 'If I Could Turn Back Time'. 

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