Friday 26 June 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Hermann Goering

Us Nazis did some really crazy stuff but apparently not enough for some people who think that me and my pals did other, even crazier things on top of the stuff that we actually did do.
We never had a secret base in Antarctica, in the centre of the Earth or on the moon. Why would we build a base in a desolate, uncivilized place when we already had France to build a base in?
We were not taught everything we knew by aliens. The Third Reich was never buddy-buddy with ET, our technology for jet propulsion came from Wernher Von Braun who was then secretly recruited to your side after the war along with along with about 1,600 other German scientists, engineers, and technicians to build an intermediate-range ballistic missile program.
So we were not meeting up with aliens in our secret Hollow Earth base by way of Antarctica but i was Hitler's number one man and such was my fame that the drink i liked the most was named after me, firstly Goering-Schnapps and then officially given the name of my title, Reichsjagermeister, in English 'The Huntsman' although they now call it just Jagermeister because nobody wants to be asociated with the Nazi's and my temperamental boss.
In the aftermath of the war, there was a scramble among us former Nazis to prove that they hadn't really meant it, honest, but the judges at Nuremburg were not buying it and when they turned down my request to be executed by firing squad, they refused and said i was to be hung so i bit down on a cyanide vial and it was a case of goering, goering, gone.

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