As well as selling apples and pears, my father had a sideline in metalwork, fixing the locals machines and cars and i would help out in his workshop and as a reward, my father would take me to see the car races at the Circuito di Bologna and i decided car racing was where i wanted to be, but the WW1 came along closely followed by the 1918 Flu Pandemic and i barely lived a bout myself but by the time i recovered the War was over and i ventured into the car industry and i got work as a test driver for Costruzioni Meccaniche Nazionali who built small passenger cars.
Working for C.M.N led me to being promoted to race-car driver and i became a big enough deal in the racing world that i ran my own stable of drivers, calling my team Scuderia Ferrari with a cool horse logo and we done so well i was asked to head up the CMN racing division and i won the Coppa Acerbo and Alfa Romeo and then stepped out of the driver’s seat and into a factory, that’s when the real magic began.
I broke away from Alfa Romeo to go it alone as Ferrari S.P.A. and the future looked bright as cars and racing were both getting more popular by the day but then WW2 came along to literally blow all of that to hell as Mussolini took over our factories to make instruments of war instead.
The problem is, when your auto parts factory starts making parts for the war effort, you might as well paint a giant target on the roof and Allied forces bombed our factory and utterly destroying everything.
Mussolini had a habit of touching his own testicles to ward off bad luck. Obviously, as he ended his days hanging upside down from a lamppost after being shot several times, it is fair to conclude that grabbing your own nads is not the best way to ward off the fickle finger of fate but it freed me up to return to building racing cars.
After winning the prestigious 24 Hours of Le Mans race, people began taking notice and we entered the Formula 1 World Championship.
I only cared about making racing cars, i was enthusiastic about selling cars in the same way that milk-lovers are enthusiastic about raising cows but we quickly found that you can't actually pay the rent that way so i was persuaded to start selling sports cars to the public purely as a way to pay for my racing careers but i hated the sort of person who wanted such a car, considering them show offs and compensating for other shortcomings but the company’s financial stability was not good and came within an inch of selling my company to Ford but instead i went into partnership with Fiat.
As well as Ferrari, i also had a hand in the Laborghini, Ferruccio Lamborghini built tractors and after buying one of my cars he kept breaking the clutch and he said it was shoddy workmanship, i said he was a crap driver and he said he would make his own cars and to be fair he did, so i can claim some input into Lamborghini cars also.
I died aged 90 from kidney disease but my cars were awesome, men who buy them as tokens of excess not so much so maybe we should have introducing a Ferrari that could seat four people so finally a way the whole family can benefit from the dad's tiny penis.
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