Both of my parents were very religious and that rubbed off on me at a very early age, i would scold the other children who were doing things morally dubious with a firm 'STOP THAT OR WILL GO TO HELL' which meant very little to 4 year olds but it must have worked because they never did those things in front of me anymore, come to think of it they never did anything infront of me because they stopped asking me out to go out and play with them.
I even refused to go swimming because all that naked flesh is an affront to God who was pretty strict on his no showing your juicy bits policy.
One time at school two boys had a disagreement and decided to fight each other by throwing stones and i tried to reason with them but with no positive result i stood between them, held up my crucifix and said they should throw their stones at me instead.
Rather than take me up on my offer and brain me with rocks, they gave up and went home instead.
It was hearing a talk on Sainthood at the Church that made me decide that it was my chosen path so i decided to give up things like a comfy bed, comfortable clothes and eating healty food by placing small pebbles in my bed and sleeping with a thin covering in winter, wearing a hair shirt, and fasting on only bread and water.
With hindsight when i first began coughing i should have maybe grabbed a few extra blankets and eaten something a bit more healthy and the doctor cutting my arm multiple times to let some of the bad blood out didn't help and my cough got worse and i died aged 14.
I had a choice between living a righteous life and becoming a Saint or living the life of a teenage boy and if i had my time again and someone said you can achieve Sainthood or live a teenage boys life of debauchery, girls, alcohol, sex, cake, music, adventure and drugs i would say erm, let's have another look at that teenage boy option again. Only kidding, it would be hair shirts, stones in the bed and Sainthood every time. Well almost every time. Okay some of the time.
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