Special Guest Blogger: Francois l'Olonnais

The French and Spanish pirates have always had a bit of a rivalry but after they almost killed me, i took it to a whole new level of hatred.
While going about our pirating business, me and my hearties were shipwrecked in Mexico and a party of Spanish soldiers attacked us and set about killing almost the entire party, i was the only survivor as i had covered myself in the blood and hid amongst the dead hoping the Spaniards were too lazy to check, which it turns out they were.
After the Spanish departed, with the assistance of some escaped slaves, we made our way to the Spanish island of Tortuga and held the whole town hostage, demanding a ransom from it's Spanish rulers. The governor of Havana preferred to send a ship to kill us rather than pay but we captured and beheaded the entire raiding crew save one, whom i spared so that a message could be delivered to Havana that i shall never henceforward give quarter to any Spaniard whatsoever, just in case that wasn't completely clear from all the headless Spaniards littering the ground.
Next i raised a pirate fleet of eight ships and hundreds of men and proceeded to terrorise the coast of South America, targeting Spanish-ruled cities, capturing Spanish treasure ships and i developed a nice line in torturing the soldiers including slicing portions of flesh off the scurvy dogs with a sword, burning them alive, or tying a rope around the victim's head and pulling on it until their eyes popped out their skulls, that sort of thing and generally being a huge pain in the arse to anything Spain-related.
The Spanish obviously didn't enjoy that very much and they set an ambush and as my pirate buddies were being blown to pieces by grapeshot all around me, i managed to escape and captured a couple of Spanish hostages along the way thinking they would know an escape route free of Spanish ships but they refused to help so i drew my sword, sliced into one Spanish prisoner's chest, pulled out the warm, still beating heart with my hands and began to eat it saying to the other one that i will eat his heart next unless he helped me escape which not surprisingly worked like a charm and i escaped safely.
My luck later ran out in Colombia when a tribe of indigenous Indians tore off my limbs and set my body on fire which meant Colombians were also added to the shit-list of people i really didn't like.