Sunday, 4 May 2008

Gordon In The Brown Stuff

Mummy, who is that man slumped crying in the corner?
Why, That's Gordon Brown dear, he runs the country.
He looks sad. Why is he crying Mummy?
Well, you see dear, he waited 10 years to take over from his old boss and you remember that bad word that i called your Uncle John?
The one that began with T and sounds like BossBot?
Yes, well it turns out that everyone thinks Gordon is an even bigger one than his old boss.
But why Mummy?
Lots of reasons sweetie.
Mummy, is it because he is implicit in the debacles in Iraq and Afghanistan, cut the 10% rate which means the rich pay less tax while those on lower incomes pay more, the high price of petrol and the impending 2% tax rise pencilled in for Autumn, the credit crunch, Northern Rock, the swathe of public service strikes threatening the country and a perceived lack of any leadership qualities whatsoever?
Yes dear.
And because he looks grumpy and miserable all the time?
I imagine some people don't like that honey.
So mummy, does that mean Mr Cameron from the Conservatives is going to move into Mr Browns house soon?
I'm afraid so dear. After Labour lost so badly in the local elections it seems the country is sending a strong message that the Labour Party is a dying duck just waiting to be put out of its misery.
Is that nice Mr Cameron going to better than that nasty Mr Brown mummy?
Probably not sweetie, the Conservative Party are even worse but people are just fed up with Labour and their wars, lies and spin.
Gordon is still crying Mummy. Can i go and kick him?
Sure you can darling, then maybe we will stop at McDonald's on the way home. No darling, don't kick him there, aim for between the legs. That's it. Good shot.

9 comments:

Cody Bones said...

Did the entire population of the U.K pick up a copy of Conscience of a Conservative by Barry Goldwater?

effay said...

That's what I was after.

Noah "Nog" M. said...

The Thatcherite wing isn't that bad.

Cheezy said...

"Did the entire population of the U.K pick up a copy of Conscience of a Conservative by Barry Goldwater?"

Doubtful, Cody. This is just the inevitable Tory swing that you get after a few years of Labour government (particularly when it's coinciding with adverse macro-economic conditions).

And, after a few years, give or take, of Tory acendancy, you get the swing back to Labour (and people won't be reading Das Kapital when that happens).

Such is the way in a two-party state. It's a bit boring actually.

Lucy said...

As Cheezy said, it does get a bit boring especially as there is very little to choose between the two now although i do think that Blair & Iraq was what began the rot and accelerated the Labour parties downfall to at least one General Election earlier than they would have gone otherwise.

Cody Bones said...

Oh, I know Cheezy, I just like ascribing conservative trends to people being better educated, and "left wing" trends as to the boredom of the electorate, (ducks quickly behind John Wayne"s horse)

Cheezy said...

Oh I'm not saying people aren't generally better educated after 11 years of Labour, Cody. I think they probably are :)

However voting behaviour is a massively complex thing - entire courses of study are given over to it - and being 'educated' plays is only a strand in the overall 'rope'.

You raise an interesting point about whether there's been a 'sea change' in British politics - I agree. However I think it's actually gone the other way. In 2005 the Tories contested an election on a hard-ish centre-right platform and got thoroughly beaten again - a particularly chastening experience seeing that Tony Blair could not have been more personally unpopular at the time (which was 90% due to the Iraq thing).

Of particular influence during this election was the belief that the Tories were going to dismantle/privatise the NHS, which amounted to electoral suicide.

Since then - and the inception of David Cameron as leader - they've moved to the left (in rhetoric if not yet in specifics), which is a tacit admission that Labour (despite themselves being moved to the right back in the 90s as a result of the Thatcherite 'revolution'), have now been successful in moving the 'centre-ground' somewhat to the left, which is where the Tories are now contesting (successfully, going by the results of the recent local body election) for votes.

So I think there has been a subtle shift in the electorate over the past 10-15 years, but I feel it's gone slightly the other way.

Going by this same pattern though, I predict that, when they regain power (whenever that is) the Tories will attempt to govern somewhat to the right of where they campaign... this may well signify another 'ebb and flow' in the tide of UK politics. Yawn! ;-)

ZenYenta said...

I guess "kick the bums out" seems like the only recourse for an electorate from time to time. I really thought that your system wasn't as tied to just two parties as ours is, though. We can't realistically float a third party as long as we hold elections the way we do and changing that is probably a near impossibility. I thought your system was the one we would have had if we'd thought things out a little more.

Living and learning here.

Lucy said...

We are really a three party system zenyata. Conservaties, Labour and Lib Dems but in reality only the first two have any chance of ever being elected.

Cody, your words have ignited something in my mind that was said many years ago and caused much huffing and swearing from the right side, if i can dig it out and rewrite it i will post it later but i have to warn you, anyone right leaning isn't going to like it.