Saturday, 10 May 2008

US Military Secret...Keep It Quiet

Psst. Come here. Lean closer because this is a bit hush hush.
You know that cosmetic surgery you have been saving up for. Well i know a way you can get it absolutely free. Just sign here, and here and report for military training at Fort Knox. Enjoy your new breasts and Baghdad.
Although it is not a secret as such, US military officials don't like to advertise the fact that one of the perks of joining Uncle Sam's military machine is free cosmetic surgery.
Anyone in any of the four branches of the military and members of their immediate families can get free face-lifts, nose jobs, breast enlargements, liposuction, or any other kind of cosmetic alteration although bizarrely if you want to go up a few bra sizes, you have to supply your own implants.
The Army’s rationale for performing the cosmetic operations is that it maintains the skills of the surgeons in doing reconstructive surgery on soldiers who have been wounded.
With the military struggling to entice young men and women into this choice of career, i am surprised that this is not more widely used as a recruiting tool although with private cosmetic surgery costing thousands, you can understand why they want to limit those who know about it to a minimum. The last thing they want is loud mouthed bloggers to publicise it.
So if you are in the military or are the immediate family of someone who is, pop along to a military training facility and ask about their range of face lifts, botox injections and nose job procedures.
You may have to spend the rest of your life piecing your life back together after the trauma of serving in Iraq or Afghanistan but at least now you can do it with perfectly straight teeth and without those crows feet.
Just don't forget to take along your implants if you are considering the boob job.

9 comments:

ZenYenta said...

I guess they mean it when they say, "Be all you can be."

Lucy said...

true zenyenta, 'be all you can be and some added bits as well'

Jodie Kash said...

Considering many are paid dick, why not? Hell, give it up to the teachers too.

David G said...

Lucy, I don't know what I'd do with large boobs! Would they help me to keep abreast of the times?

Cheers.

Cody Bones said...

"Lucy, I don't know what I'd do with large boobs"

I can think of quite a few off the top of my head, but that's just me.

Noah "Nog" M. said...

I'd love a link.

NOTE: I'm not trying to be a citation roach; I'm not particularly doubtful that it's true that the military does this. They have the worst doctors in the country anyways. They certainly do need "the practice" (on a bunch of sad soldiers' faces).

Cheezy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheezy said...

Yikes. Hopefully trading the plastic surgery for some 'psych credits' will also be allowed... that sort of 'surgery' might be more useful for some of them after their tours of duty are over.

The Fez Monkey said...

I doubt the reason for this free cosmetic surgery is to keep the doctors' skills sharp. After all, the tens (or hundreds??) of thousands of wounded & maimed soldiers resulting from the past six years of Iraq have given the reconstructive surgeons more than enough practice subjects.

Besides, how many injuries from roadside bombs really require breast augmentation or liposuction?

Ook ook