Tuesday, 8 October 2013
USA Car Boot Sale
So it's boom time for Britain but spare a thought for poor America who will soon have to sell off the family silver to keep its head above water.
It would be wrong to take advantage of Americas fall from grace but what the hell, we could pick up some real bargains with our newly buoyant economy in the American car boot sale.
I have always quite liked the Statue of Liberty and America needs the money so dangle a couple of £50 notes in front of its face and it could be finding a new home in Whitby Bay welcoming the poor and tired huddled masses to Yorkshire.
For a handful of tenners we could probably pick up Disney Land, not because we necessarily need it but it would really annoy the French and the Golden Gate Bridge would look great spanning the Solent between Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight.
The George W Bush library could probably be snapped up for loose change, not as if there are many books in there, and a couple of fivers in Hollywood's top pocket would get us Johnny Depp and Sandra Bullock, or the new landlords at the Queen Vic in Eastenders as they would then be known.
Before we let China and Russia pick over what's left, (with a bit of chisel work the four Presidents on Mount Rushmore could easily be Lenin, Putin, Yeltsin and Gorbachev), the offer of a bed and an evening meal should be enough to engage the services of former American politician, Dick Swett, who with a name like that was born to be in the Conservative Party.
The cheque is in the post so wrap it all up in bubble wrap and have it here by the weekend. Appreciate it, have a nice day.