Tuesday, 8 October 2013

USA Car Boot Sale

As America prepares to fall off a financial cliff, the UK has been given an upgrade by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) for economic growth by more than any other major economy.
So it's boom time for Britain but spare a thought for poor America who will soon have to sell off the family silver to keep its head above water.
It would be wrong to take advantage of Americas fall from grace but what the hell, we could pick up some real bargains with our newly buoyant economy in the American car boot sale.
I have always quite liked the Statue of Liberty and America needs the money so dangle a couple of £50 notes in front of its face and it could be finding a new home in Whitby Bay welcoming the poor and tired huddled masses to Yorkshire.
For a handful of tenners we could probably pick up Disney Land, not because we necessarily need it but it would really annoy the French and the Golden Gate Bridge would look great spanning the Solent between Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight.
The George W Bush library could probably be snapped up for loose change, not as if there are many books in there, and a couple of fivers in Hollywood's top pocket would get us Johnny Depp and Sandra Bullock, or the new landlords at the Queen Vic in Eastenders as they would then be known. 
Before we let China and Russia pick over what's left, (with a bit of chisel work the four Presidents on Mount Rushmore could easily be Lenin, Putin, Yeltsin and Gorbachev), the offer of a bed and an evening meal should be enough to engage the services of former American politician, Dick Swett, who with a name like that was born to be in the Conservative Party.
The cheque is in the post so wrap it all up in bubble wrap and have it here by the weekend. Appreciate it, have a nice day.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

and i'm ready for it. got about 25% of my investments in international stocks!!!

q

Lucy said...

Although it is serious stuff i do want it to go on a bit longer just because the BBC and the like tied themselves up in knots trying to find ways of saying the name 'John Boehner' without making everyone aged under 10 giggle.

I will give you a fiver for Alaska, i can use it as my Christmas retreat with all that snow.

Anonymous said...

In the usa "beener" is a racist term for Mexicans. No no

Q

Lucy said...

They have been saying Boner here which is a term for a Man Utd fan.

Anonymous said...

oh, should have known i wouldn't get it without an explanation

q

Annie said...

I thought it was slang for "dick."
Which makes absolute sense!

Cheezy said...

He looks more like a limp dick to me.

As Jon Stewart said of him recently:

"Look, you think Obamacare's a big enough threat to this country that you need to shut down the government over it, fine. Own it. Don't fart and point at the dog."

Lucy said...

Man Utd fan and dick are interchangable Annie.

Anonymous said...

Are you 2 saying you dont like dicks?

Q

Anonymous said...

Or are you saying you only like them in their place?

Q

Lucy said...

Old Trafford?