Thursday, 20 August 2015

Bands Made In Heaven And Hell

So there was God and i sitting on his cloud and pondering what to get Jesus for his birthday. The little nipper has got everything he could ever want when suddenly the big guy hits upon the idea of bringing together the finest dead musicians in heaven for a Happy Birthday Jesus concert.
God being a bit on the lazy side (he doesn't do Sunday's), delegated it to me to set off and track down the best dead musicians for a five piece band.
I don't know many dead drummers, apart from The Who's Keith Moon and Led Zeppelin's John Bonham so i was about to plump for one of them until i remember the great drumming on 'Wipe Out' by the Safari's. Luckily for us although not so much for him, Ron Wilson died of a brain aneurysm in the 80s so i hand him the sticks and plonk him down behind the drum kit.
The bass player was a choice of another dead 'The Who' musician, John Entwistle or Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy. Lynott it is then.
Rhythm guitar was handed to Joe Strummer and lead to Jimi Hendrix with a warning to not do any of that weird feedback crap or he is out. And put that joint out hippy.
Frontman is a toughie. The ultimate in cool Kurt Cobain or the ultimate showman Freddie Mercury. Freddie gets the nod.
So my final line up for the best band made up of famous dead musical types is:
Ron Wilson (Drums), Phil Lynott (Bass), Joe Strummer (Rhythm Guitar), Jimi Hendirx (lead Guitar) and Freddie Mercury (Vocals).
First up on the playlist, "Sympathy for the Devil", that should go down a storm up here.
When he heard about the gig old Beelzebub himself sidled up to me and said: "You know that scene at the very beginning of Nightmare Before Christmas, the one where Pumpkin Jack comes back to his Halloween World after a successful nights Halloweening and they have a concert". I replied that i was aware of it.
"That's what we need here" he stated, leaning forward from his fiery throne and handing me an order to round up the best musicians presently residing in Hell for a Halloween Night Concert.
Never one to turn down a man armed with a pitchfork and horns, i set about getting together the best band from not so nice dead musicians.
Bass guitar was easy, girlfriend murderer Sid Vicious. Luckily he was on his way to Michael Jackson's house and Jackson was more than happy to join the band as lead singer.
Finding a drummer was proving difficult, especially as hammer wielding mother killer Jim Gordon was still alive but there was only one man to hand the lead guitar to, Lead Belly. Never a man to talk to his relatives when he could shove a knife in them instead.
Still leaves me struggling to find a drummer so i guess i will have to fit a drum machine until a notorious drummer turns up down there.
First song up, Knocking on Heavens Door. Old Nick will love that. 

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