Special Guest Blogger: Shi Pei Pu

I grew up in Kunming in the southwestern province of Yunnan, where i learned French and attended the Yunnan University, graduating with a literature degree and then become an actor and singer where i met the Frenchman assigned to the job of accountant at the French embassy in Beijing, Bernard Boursicot, and the Chinese said, hey, he isn't the brightest cookie, maybe we could pump him for French secrets.
I first met him at a Christmas Party and he told me that he had only been with men and wanted to go with a woman so despite being dressed in a suit, i told him that actually, i was a female Beijing opera singer who had been forced to live as a man to satisfy his father's wish to have a son.
Amazingly he believed me and with Boursicot convinced that he was with a woman, we quickly developed a sexual relationship, maintained in total darkness and with things tucked neatly away so he never realised that his lover never actually had a vagina.
I also convinced him to pass French secrets to me which i handed to the Chinese Government and even when he was posted in Mongolia, he kept up passing me the secrets but i had a plan to keep him from straying, i told him i was pregnant and next time he came to visit, i presented him with his 'son', or more accurately, a boy i had purchased from a local doctor.
Boursicot bought me and his son to Paris because he wanted to be responsible for his 'son' and the 'mother of his son' and the Chinese government basically had already got all the secret documents they could hope for from the diplomat but he bought us into contact with less stupid French people who got a doctor to have a good look at my private parts and i was revealed as a man and Boursicot was arrested by French authorities for passing on secrets to the Chinese but the French President, keen to avoid any tensions between France and China, pardoned me.
Upon discovering the truth of our relationship, Boursicot attempted suicide by slitting his throat to escape the humiliation but survived the attempt and i returned to performing but rather than the episode be forgotten, it was turned into one of the most famous plays of all time, Madame Butterfly, oh well.