Special Guest Blogger: Norse God Loki

Not all Gods are either good or evil, i was in it for for the chuckles but that got me into a lot of trouble but i came to the Gods attention when they were struggling to build Asgard and needed a large protective wall to keep the riff-raff out.
I suggested getting a hill giant to build it but as for payment, the Giant asked for the Godess Freya’s hand in marriage and i told the other God's to set a deadline of the first day of summer, he’ll never manage it on his own and the deal will be off but you still get the wall.
Unfortunately he had a huge stallion called Svadilfari, which could haul boulders like nobody's business and with 3 days to go Freya came at me and made a few suggestions of how she would wear my testicles as earrings if i didn't fix it so feeling partially responsible, and being a god that can transform into animals, i changed myself into a mare and seduced the Giant’s stallion and led him off into the woods.
With his horse missing, the Giant knew he wouldn't make the schedule and tried to take Freya by force but Thor cracked his skull with his hammer. Thor could always be relied on to supply the muscle when corners became too tight for trickery.
Meanwhile i was having a fine old time frolicking in the fields. In fact i became pregnant, and gave birth to a fine baby boy stallion with eight legs i called Sleipnir and gave to Odin.
Odin loved him and i was well in with top God and his son Thor and i assumed Thor would find my cutting off his wife's beautiful long hair while she slept as hilarious as i did but he wet his big boy pants and threatened to kill me so again, feeling partly responsible, i went to the Black Elves and got them to make a replacement wig out of pure gold.
As an extra sorry, i got them to make a spear, a magical ring and a Boar for Odin, a ship for Freyr and a war hammer called Mjölnir for Thor.
I had many run-ins with the dwarves and one time they really stitched me up. Literally, they stitched my mouth shut, which kept me quiet for quite some time.
Such was my reputation that when Freya’s precious necklace Brisingamen went missing and a flea was seen leaving the scene, fingers of suspicion were pointing at you-know-who but i was on a mission from Odin himself, the necklace was a present from the dwarves after she had sex with all of them. Odin ordered me to retrieve the necklace as proof of her affair.
My tricks came to an end after causing the death of the goody goody Balder. His mum made a deal so nothing would hurt him except mistletoe so i made a mistletoe spear and gave it to his blind brother to throw at him. He was blind! How was i to know he was such a good shot.
He died obviously and i was pinned against a pile of rocks and bound with the entrails of my son, Nari, and a poisonous snake now drips venom onto my face and that is penciled in to go on until Ragnarök rolls around.
That's when i escape and hijack a ship made of dead men's toenails before awakening the World Serpent who rises from the oceans and spews poison across the lands and skies until Earth sinks into the ocean leaving just two humans to repopulate what's left of the Earth which should be an interesting day.