Falling into the leather-working trade and i got really good at stripping the skin off cows and met and married the very wealthy Elizabeth so i decided as i was now stinking rich, i could give up the cow skinning business and moved into Boston's wealthy Charlestown neighbourhood although my neighbours thought i was a bit common for them.
To be accepted as a man of business i hit on the idea of buying tens of thousands of the Continental Dollar bills for a few cents and hoarded them speculating that it would one day be reinstated as the dollar of choice for the new country though, of course, it never happened, but i was allowed to trade-in all the bills for 1% of face value and, overnight, became even richer.
My new wealth still failed to impress the stuck up neighbours so i became a land owner and built a massive 20 room mansion complete with a a statue of me on the grounds but shockingly, the neighbours didn't take a liking to it and nor did my wife who packed a bag and left.
With my wife out of there, i figured being rich and single would attract women and it did and while i was humping sex-workers, the locals unbeknown to me, came up with the idea of bankrupting me to get rid of the interloper and they gave me news of a shipping fleet that was up for sale so i bought them and on their advice, my first tip was to load up my shipping vessels with heating pads and send them down to the sweltering West Indie islands.
Far from bankrupting it made me even richer because although nobody needed heating pads in the tropics, they were perfect for the large molasses plantation scene and i made another financial killing.
Now even richer the neighbours tried again to feed me a second shitty tip, selling coal to the mining town of Newcastle. It turned out that Newcastle had just undergone a massive labour strike, and the people there were ready to give up just about any price for coal and i just happened to have several ships full of the stuff. Kerching!
I now had so much money i but still no acceptance and recognition that i was after from my peers so i did the natural thing anyone in my situation would do and faked my own death and held a service at my estate to see what the turnout would be like.
I planned to jump out and yell 'surprise' after all the nice things but the nice things were never said and when i jumped out people just shrugged, not caring whether i dead or alive to begin with.
When i did finally die the city had a problem with the elaborate tomb i built and stuck me in a standard cemetery like everyone else so my tale is to not worry about what other people think of you and you don't need a fancy degree to be wealthy, being a lucky bastard with no real discernible skills sometimes works just as well.
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