Special Guest Blogger: Aeschylus

A small handful of great individuals are not content to get their names in the footnotes of history and then quietly expire. No, there are those brave few who achieve greatness and then top it off by kicking the bucket in a way so ridiculously implausible that people would have talked about them for years even if they hadn't done anything else.
I was a big hitter in the tragedy genre but before i picked up my quill as a playwright, i was working at a vineyard until the god Dionysus visited me in my sleep and commanded me to turn my attention to writing.
Not one to turn down the son of Zeus who could turn people blind and mad, i began scribbling away but it didn't start off as planned, at one play i was chased out of town by the audience for asebeia, a criminal charge in ancient Greece for the 'desecration and mockery of divine Gods'.
I did get better and became an absolute beast at writing plays that ended tragically but my own ending was a tragedy that even i wouldn't have written as unbelievable.
I began losing my hair at quite an early age and as every bald man knows, if you're balding you might as well kiss your love life goodbye.  
Even if you’re 16 and have a full head of hair, women can tell if you’re going to go bald and that spells trouble. Let’s face it, women hate bald men and it was a woman who told me that she had seen me being killed by a falling object so i played it smart and stayed outside as much as possible to avoid anything crashing down on my head indoors.
One afternoon, why sat outside writing, an eagle mistook my bald head for a rock to crack the shell of it's prey and dropped a tortoise on it, killing me instantly and although nobody could name two of my plays today, it made sure my name is remembered millennia later and i'll take that.