Special Guest Blogger: Colonel Harland Sanders

Most people probably thought that white haired man on the KFC shopfront was a corporate logo but that's me, Colonel Sanders, and i was a real person responsible for bringing slabs of meat from the factory farm to your plate and showing you why America is so respected culinarily across the world.
I wasn't actually a Colonel in the military sense, the title was an honorary one and selling chicken only happened after i tried my hand at being a farmhand, street-car conductor, steam engine stoker, insurance salesman and studied law by correspondence and practiced in justice-of-the-peace courts in Arkansas until a courtroom brawl with a client derailed my legal career, and then finally a filling station operator and then began selling fried chicken from old family dining room table wheeled into the front of the service station during the Great Depression.
I developed a 'secret recipe' and it sold so well i opened my first KFC shop in South Salt Lake, Utah in 1952 and embraced my Colonel title and tried to look the part by growing facial hair and donning a white suit, which helped to hide flour stains nicely, and bleached my mustache and goatee to match my white hair.
I painted advertising signs on barns for miles around but a rival kept painting over one of my signs so i put down my chicken, picked up a gun and got into a bit of a gunfight, wounding him but my charges were dropped after i was arrested.
I sold the Kentucky Fried Chicken name to to food conglomerate Heublein and once the cheque cleared, began to deride the chain’s gravy as' slop' and its owners as 'a bunch of booze hounds' although they kept my image as the public face of the company
I developed plans to franchise “The Colonel’s Lady’s Dinner House” restaurant which i opened with my wife in Shelbyville, Kentucky as a competitor and when Heublein threatened to block the plan, i sued for $122 million but we settled out of court for $1 million and a chance to give a cooking lesson to Heublein executives in return for my promise to stop criticizing Kentucky Fried Chicken’s food.
There have been protests from the tree hugging vegetarian mob but they can all can go to hell, the chicken is born to be chopped up and put into a fryer so what if the chicken’s short life is a sorry state, pumped full of chemicals and filled full of hormones, at least we no longer slip in a rat so eat up and if you enjoyed it, the chicken didn’t die painfully in vain!