Special Guest Blogger: Saint Hilary of Poitiers

My philosophy was that just because you can't prove something ever existed, that doesn't mean it never existed, it just means we should maybe question why we think it existed based on a total lack of evidence so i disagreed with the majority of people around me who thought that the purpose of life was only to satisfy their desires.
'We are not beasts grazing in a pasture' i would explain usually followed by 'can you at least stop doing that when i'm speaking to you'.
I thought that human beings should rise above their desires and live a life of virtue but i was very much in the minority on that one, if the choice for a Frenchman is a cold shower or making unofficial use of the animal shed with Naughty Nicole, then it was always going to be move that sheep out the way.  
As i was popping up at inopportune moments and ruining the moment for many people by querying if they were aware that the course to a blissful existence was by not doing that with the Monroe twins, the local Church received many complaints and it exiled me to the Orient.
After just three short years of me, the Emperor told me to do one also but rather than go straight home i took a detour through Greece and Italy to spread my theory that the path to God did not include having to wipe down the surfaces afterwards.        
Saint Patrick may have stitched up the whole Snake Saint thing but i am the patron saint of snakebites because while in Geneoa, a young boy had swallowed an Adder while sleeping and he was bought to me where i made him vomit up the serpent and saved his life.
Telling people to stop porking each other was never a good way to get people to listen to me but saving lives was and i rubber stamped my new found fame by writing hymns although none you would have ever heard of, they were not exactly banging tunes, but i am recognised as the first hymn writer in the West so next time you feel the stirring in your loins, write a hymn instead, you will feel much better afterwards and nobody has to fetch the mop and bucket.