Special Guest Blogger: Elmer McCurdy

I started off as a really bad outlaw and ended up in a movie and an episode of the Bionic Man so my life is separated into what the medical profession call 'being alive' and 'being dead' so first the bit before i found TV stardom and that would be when i decided that after i left the army robbing banks and trains would be a good career move so i took the military training in explosives and went looking for an outlaw gang because every good crew needs the guy who’s good at blowing stuff up.
My problem was that i sucked at the whole robbing, shooting, wearing a bandana thing as the gang found out when on my first job i was charged with opening a safe and blew the entire thing sky high, destroying everything in it.
Because outlaws are basically a fair bunch, they gave me another go at a bank heist but this time i bought too few explosives and hardly made a dent in the door.
The third time, and with promises that i had the whole blowing safes open thing sorted, i joined them robbing a train but the local sheriff blew a big hole in me before i even got to the safe and for most people that would have been the end of the ride but for me it was only just the beginning.
My body was embalmed and held at the local undertaker but nobody turned up to claim my body and pay for my coffin so the undertaker did what anybody would do in those circumstances and started putting my body on display outside of his place with a sign around my neck to put a coin in my mouth.
Months passed until some men turned up and offered to take my body which the undertaker was cool with which is how i ended up being carted to a Carnival, tagged the 'Embalmed Bandit' and we toured around the USA until my body was moved on to yet another owner, this time a man who operated a traveling 'Museum of Crime' with a bunch of wax figures of famous criminals he would rent out to venues and as props, one time i appeared in the film Narcotic!, that's me sat in a seat in the theatre scene.
From there i was sold to the Hollywood Wax Museum and was transported there strapped to the roof of a car like a weird looking Christmas tree and when i arrived i was missing both ears, several toes and fingers which had blown off. My new owner wasn't loving the new look so sold me on to an amusement park where i was strapped to the ceiling of a haunted house.
The TV show, The Six Million Dollar Man, came to park to shoot an episode but while filming my arm fell off and the producers realised that the body they were filming was an actual dead man so they reported it and i was freed from my duties and laid to rest in an actual cemetery.
So i may not have been the best or most memorable cowboy but while they were forced to play sad songs on the harmonica out on the open range before riding off into the sunset, i got to star in films and on TV alongside some great actors as well as Lee Mayors who for that episode at least wasn't the stiffest most lifeless thing on the screen for once.