Special Guest Blogger: Greek/Roman God Zeus

Back in my day i was the top banana, numero uno and the Chief of Gods as well as being responsible for the sky, thunder, weather, law and justice and when i wasn't battling with the giant Titans and engaging in all manner of gut-busting glorious Godly pursuits, i ruled Olympus. It is the lofty cloud-land where us Greek Gods lived and looked down upon you feeble humans but i didn't make the best start, my father Cronus was terrified of my awesome power and concerned that one of his kids would grow up and overthrow him, he swallowed us but my mum wasn't having any of that and gave him a stone to swallow instead of me and she smuggled me out to the nymph Adamanthea who hid me by dangling me by a rope from a tree so that my dad couldn't see me so i grew up and learned to walk, talk, and rule the Universe and the story does have a happy ending as i went back and made him puke up my siblings and then me and my brothers Hades and Poseidon, chucked him into the Abyss of Tartarus with the rest of the Titan's who arses we kicked.
Being a hunky, irresistible God i did have an eye for the Goddesses, mortals, animals, actually anything that would keep still long enough but my wife and sister, Hera (again, Greece), was very understanding, a God needed to relax after a hard days successfully crushing revolts against me by my fellow gods.
To seduce Eurymedusa, i disguised myself as an ant, i really didn't think that one through, but from all my affairs i had hundreds of children but my main family included Artemis, Apollo, Hermes, Athena, Ares, and Aphrodite who all went on to be Gods themselves although we did all get new names when the Romans took over, i became Jupiter but i was still the top dog in charge of weather and thunderbolts although sometimes a well lobbed thunderbolt up the jacksy wasn't enough and i had to get proper Greek on their arses.
Humans did like to make sacrifices to me and usually it was a virgin or a goat and i would say what's the point in sending me a burnt virgin but they continued so i decided to wipe out mankind and flooded the world with the help of my brother Poseidon. None of that ark business with two of each animals, just flooded the damned place but that was the kind of guy i was, rewarding good conduct and punishing evil with floods and guess what else, yep, thunderbolts, i did love a good thunderbolt.
When the Roman's took over matters they kept me as top God but changed my name to Jupiter and named a Planet after me and considering that it is a massive ball of gas, that seems quite right but then so would you be after all that nectar and ambrosia.