Special Guest Blogger: Greek/Roman God Priapus

Throughout history man has believed in something whether it was the Greeks with Zeus, the Romans with Jupiter or the Norse with Odin while today God and the baby Jesus seem to be the dominant mythology so there have been a lot of Gods and such deities lifted up to the heights and worshiped only to be dumped when a newer one cames along.
Many are sitting impotently in the history books but not all, some are in plain sight even if you don't know it which brings me neatly to me and Garden Gnomes.
The modern era looks pretty cool especially as most gardens have at least one Gnome plonked outside the front garden amongst the Rhododendron's and Hydrangea and catching imaginary sealife with fishing rods or holding a garden implement and are homage to a huge cocked Greek God, me.
I was a son of Aphrodite and a very minor Greek deity responsible for gardens and my thing (all Greek Gods have a thing) was that Zeus's Wife, Hera, in a fit of pique over losing a contest to my mother over an apple, cursed me with a massive penis which i once used to beat a donkey who cock blocked me with the goddess Hestia.
As with all religions, when the Roman's came to conjuring up their own religion they stole the Greek one and adopted me as their own and kept me in charge of gardens and as so, Romans had small statues built of me with my tremendously impressive penis and placed them in their gardens as tribute.
Roll forward a few centuries and while European knowledge of each other grew and expanded, the religions changed and absorbed bits and pieces from other religions to make up new ones, the small statue of me with the whacking great wang remained protecting and looking after even more gardens.
Over time, my penis shrank and withdrew into a pair of trousers as my appearance underwent a change to protect sensitive European eyes from the scary looking Greek/Roman God to cute Gnome although my hat, called the Phrygian cap, remained the same.
What this all means is that out of all the Gods and deities who have been around since man conjured up the idea of a creator, i am the one who has been around the longest and the one who we still pay homage to, even if you didn't know it.  
I can only thank Hera that her curse on me meant that over two millennium later, i am still having statues erected in my honour while the rest of her crowd are long forgotten and inadvertently making me the last deity from the Greek God era still standing.