Special Guest Blogger: President Felix Faure

I was the Minister of marine in the administration of French President Casimir-Perier and somehow got myself elected as the Republican nominee because the two other Republicans were hated by other Republicans and the party wanted someone who was plain, boring and offended nobody so they put little old innocuous me on the ballot and sacre bleu i won the election, i like to think that having the bitchinest moustache in all of France helped, it certainly impressed the ladies.
You can think of me as the John Mayor of politics when it comes to things i did while in Office and as the Bill Clinton of politics when it come to things i also did while in the office because people have many different ways of coping with the pressure of running their country, some took the chance to grow closer to their citizens. Some take the opportunity to put right some equalities and make life easier for the poorest in society but i gazed out across the landscape of the Champs-Élysées, wiped away a tear, and calmly promised that i would get drunk and screw to a degree hitherto unseen in French society and that takes some doing because infidelity in the workplace in France is what teapots are to England.
Many women were interested to see if the downstairs matched the massive moustache upstairs and the Presidential seal spent the 4 years of my presidency alongside the crumpled underwear of many mademoiselles but my final booty call was to Marguerite Steinheil who was a total babe and i'm not saying that she was a bike, but she had more riders than the Marseille–Paris cycling race.   
One of our little 'games' was pirates, she would be my wench and i was a rough buccaneer and we was about to splice the main-brace when just as we got to the ho-ho-ho bit, something inside my head went twang and i shuffled off my mortal coil as well as my trousers.    
I know that if they could do such a thing, most men would already have made arrangements to meet their makers in the exact same way but not only did i die happy, but in the most way French way possible.