Friday, 28 August 2009

Back To The Future

I don't know if it's the bus fumes but i do find myself thinking some strange things while sitting in traffic.
What would happen if the world began spinning around the other way?
How many syllables are there in the word horse?
If a surgeon was stranded on a desert island with his surgical tools, how much of himself could he eat?
What did the first person who milked a cow think he was doing?
If i took out my eyes and pointed them at each other, what would i see?
I'm usually sent spinning back to reality by abuse by angry drivers queuing behind me but today i saw an advert for the Time Travellers Wife and i've spent the day pondering what i would do if i could go back in time?
There has been so many films and books about time travel that it is obviously something that has been pondered by many others.
The general theme seems to be to go back and change history in your favour with a person you regret not copping off with at the time or to quote Quantum Leap, to put right what once went wrong.
Yes, that's all very worthy but in reality, i guess the first thing anyone would do is to scrape together as much money as possible and rush down to the bookies.
Maybe after we have made enough money to afford a man to squeeze out our toothpaste for us every morning, our minds may turn to other things.
I'd like to turn up at a record company in 1988 with my guitar and sing them every song that has made number one since 1990 or go to a publisher with a book idea about an island full of dinosaurs that have been resurrected from some pre-historic DNA in tree sap. I'd probably nick the Da Vinci Code and claim it for myself also.
Righting what once went wrong would have to wait, i'd have the back catalogue of REM and Guns 'N' Roses to play to some pony tailed record executive first. Two songs i would make sure i put my name to are 'Time of your life' by Green Day and 'Losing my Religion' by REM.
I'd also pop a letter in the post to Princess Diana and tell her that that she might want to give that Paris trip a miss in 1997.


Anonymous said...


I wonder how your music venture would turn out? I mean, imagine if you took Elvis records back to 1935... hell they almost came unglued over Elvis in the 50's...

I can imagine their faces when they hear AC/DC, Lady Gaga, Hendrix, and Queen...


Lucy said...

The only flaw would be that i sing like a donkey with a bucket over it's head.

Cheezy said...

So did all of the Spice Girls though (apart from the slightly minging one)... Didn't hurt them much.