Monday, 3 August 2009

Men And Face Fuzz

Secretary of State for Defence, Bob Ainsworth, has blamed his moustache for the reason that he is unpopular.
Not because of excessive claims for repairs to his second home exposed during the MP expenses lynching a few months back, it's all down to his follicular sproutings.
I have always thought that unless you are in the Taliban, ZZ Top, a Birds Eye commercial or are actually Santa, men who sport excessive facial topiary are on that slippery slope towards buying cardigans with leather patches on the elbows and becoming Geography teachers.
Men who sport just the moustaches deserve, and often receive, just as much ridicule as those with the full faced fuzz look.
They may have once been associated with power and sophistication but now whatever way you want to style the 'tache, you end up looking like 'a slug balancer' as General Melchett so aptly described it in Blackadder.
You could go for the style of the guy in Village People but you end up looking like the guy from Village People, or the other extreme made famous by Oliver Hardy and Adolf Hilter who apparently once sported a fine Ned Flanders type moustache but kept getting food stuck in it so opted to trim it to the ludicrous moustache that he is as famous for as much as his crimes against humanity.
Especially cringe worthy is the bum fluff 'tache on many of the young men who see it as a sign of maturity and not an obvious sign to everyone else that they have just began shaving and isn't fooling even the most short sighted of barmaid's that they are old enough to buy that snakebite and black.
I blame Tom Selleck who made moustaches seem cool in the 80s but he was also responsible for a short lived fascination with Hawaiian shirts and nobody would be seen dead in one of those now (i hope) but still walk around thinking a hairy top lip is a good look. Go figure.

5 comments:

Nog said...

I think that, given that God is so just and righteous, men have facial hair as a retort to women and their clothing. Women dress "girl hot", which means "not hot" and it drives us fellas mad. And then we fellas grow a beard, which makes us the closest thing to a "girl hot" equivalent for guys. Guys like guys with beards. But women don't seem to.


-Nog

Lucy said...

Men grow beards to appear not hot?

Cheezy said...

My girlfriend likes me with stubble... She'd probably demur if I went for the full 'Grizzly Adams' look though.

I should test this theory out though...

Cody Bones said...

I have never met a man who didn't think that ZZ Top looked cool. Women on the other hand....

Cheezy said...

"I have never met a man who didn't think that ZZ Top looked cool."

You may have met your first one here, Cody! :-0