Thursday, 6 August 2009

When Did Victoria Beckham Became A Singer?

Simon Cowell, being the man behind Robson & Jerome, obviously knows all about signing up talentless singers so it is no surprise that he has handed a contract to Victoria Beckham to be a part time judge on American idol.
The danger is that young kids not old enough to remember the Spice Girls will think that Victoria was at some point, actually a singer and not just the one who stood at the back pouting and pointing.
I agree that since then she has moved on to walking around LA looking sulky behind ridiculous sunglasses but in the talent pool that she thrives, its a massive step up.
How will the contestants manage to keep a straight face while she gives them advice? It would be like Beth Ditto lecturing people at a weight watchers meeting.
The first person she criticises would be well within their rights to wet themselves laughing.
America has so many female singers to pass on advice, proper singers who actually know what they are talking about and have actually sang, so Mrs Beckham is a strange choice.
Usually contestants have to sing a selection of one artists back catalogue so America can look forward to hearing her classic 'Out of Your Mind' again, the single where her voice was put through so many synths and digitisers that she sounded like Metal Mickey.
Now if Simon Cowell ever makes a show where the idea is to find someone to make money out of no talent, not eating and marrying a rich footballer then Victoria is your woman.
Including her in a show which involves singing is laughably inappropriate.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

if she is a "strange choice" then she should do well because she is replacing a strange person...

q

Cheezy said...

I'm sure she won't be as amusingly stoned/drunk as Paula always seems to be...

The Posh mystery is one of many, I think. This whole 'X-Factor/Pop Idol/Got Talent' phenomenon gives rise to so many questions:

- What does Piers Morgan know about... well... anything?

- Ditto Sharon Osbourne?

- Why do these American shows always need English judges to tell the singers that they suck? Is it for the same reason that a lot of Hollywood 'thrillers' have English baddies?

- With all his money, why does Simon Cowell dress so shabbily?

- And lastly... but not leastly... why do people - in their zillions - watch this hackneyed, soulless, cacophanous shite?

Lucy said...

I only know Paula Abdul from her songs ages ago but i have read that she is a bit of an oddball.

Cowell does seem to choose some strange experts, Danni Minogue? Piers Morgan? Amanda Holden? Sharon Osbourne? None are what you would call top in their field.
Victoria is of course on the books of Simon Fuller who just happens to be Cowells business partner and creator of American Idol. Seems it's who you know not what you know gets you on these judging panels.