Friday 26 February 2016

You Had Better Behave Men

Men are such simple folk i hate to see a woman breaking a mans heart, mostly because he only has one so she should break his bones as he has over 250 of them.
Of course i jest, the average human body only has 206 bones but men should be feeling a bit more insecure today as scientists announce that they have managed to create an artificial version of sperm which to be honest was the only reason we were keeping them around.
The breakthrough appears to be about helping men whose fertility is damaged by health problems that prevent them from producing sperm but some men feel that the real agenda is to wipe them out altogether so if they think it anyway, maybe we could do it if men don't learn to behave themselves.
Up until now men have not had a good reputation, they may have given us such useful inventions as the telephone and television but you have to weigh that up against them also giving us nuclear weapons, religion and baseball caps.
Pick a war and you will see a man starting it, make a list of history's 10 greatest tyrants and there will be 20 testicles or 19 if Hitler makes the list.
Of course we still need to keep men around but in a world with far too much testosterone maybe we could use it as a turning point to say we don't really need you but if you promise to behave yourselves we will tolerate you.     
Now open this bottle and then go park the car i have left in the road because the parking space was too small.

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