Wednesday, 10 February 2016

European Socialists

The Bernie Sanders Socialist bandwagon continues to gather pace and people are starting to talk seriously about President Sanders, the thinking being that Bernie will win the Democrat nomination, Trump will win the Republican and being as Trump is a racist nutter who would sink America into the sea within a week of being handed power, Sanders will win and usher in a new Socialist utopia across the Atlantic.
As Bernie is a self declared fan of European Socialism, and considering i am not only a European but also a Socialist, i am doubly well placed to let Americans now what they can expect under the four or possibly eight years of a Sanders administration.

1. The Song. Socialism has it's own song and it's sung to the tune of the Christmas Carol 'O' Christmas Tree' and is all about peace, human rights and human gains while hauling down the rich man. It's not quite Stairway o Heaven but it's catchy. 
2. Red. For some reason everything Socialist is red, the flag, the badges, the posters, the ties. Every Bernie Sanders badge i have seen has been blue but that's a Democrat thing because the Republicans are red and it may get confusing if he changed it now.
3. Famous Socialists. If you look at the great and the good through history, you can bet your Che Guevera mug that they were a Socialist. The list includes George Orwell, Betrand Russell, Charlie Chaplin, John Steinbeck, Pablo Picasso, Martin Luther King, Mark Twain, Malcolm X, Oscar Wilde, Joe Strummer, Nelson Mandela and Albert Einstein and if the brainiest man who has ever lived decides that Socialism is the way to go you know you have backed the right horse, or German physicist.
4. Scandinavia. To an outsider, Scandinavia can seem like a group of small, difficult-to-tell-apart Nordic countries but the Scandinavian countries are, in fact, some of the richest, most successful societies on Earth, with exceptionally high levels of education, health care, and safety and to a man run by Socialists. Vote Sanders and and you to could be Sweden or Norway only with less fish and blonde haired people knocking around. 
5. Socialism is already working. Someone assaulting you? The police arrive, and without payment, resolve the situation. America is invaded by Iceland? The military show up and chase them away for free. Your house on fire? The fire department comes and puts the fire out without payment. Your child can't write yet? The school will educate them for free. Got seven bin liners full of rubbish? The rubbish collectors will take it away and charge you nothing. Need to drive to Florida to get some oranges for your Vitamin C Deficiency? Travel there on the roads maintained for free.

It's a no brainer really, under Socialism you get a neat song, everything coloured red, get to live in a Scandinavian knock off, while driving around with the hood down, feeling the wind in your hair and listening to The Clash. What's not to like about being a European Socialist?

7 comments:

Keep Life Simple said...

Bernie will get embarrassed if he is the Democratic candidate.

Falling on a bruise said...

More than Trump if he is the Republican one?

Keep Life Simple said...

If the dems run sanders it will be a electoral college landslide like when Reagan beat Carter, Bush beat dukakis, Nixon beat McGovern

Falling on a bruise said...

I am confident that Americans are ready to become European socialists, you'll love it! You get cake and everything.

Keep Life Simple said...

I don't want to work enough to produce steak, asparagus, and cake then have it taken from me, then have a slice of the cake given back to me as if someone is doing me a favor.

Falling on a bruise said...

Hang on, most socialists are also vegetarians so no steak either. Just asparagus for you then.

Keep Life Simple said...

Can I have butter with it?