I was surprised when i got an email asking me to give my observations of my time on Earth as i had been pretty much written out of things despite inventing the Bible as it is known.Before me, the Christian Bible as you know it didn't exist, there was just hundreds of different stories, mostly bad rewrites of stories from other religions with Jesus and God's name copy and pasted in to replace the names of the other Gods so i decided to create two separate volumes of the best stories into two separate books, the first showing 'Old God' to be a murderous belligerent, basketcase and then the 'New God' who became the malevolent creator, full of compassion and love.
I also wanted to remove all traces of Jewish influence out of this Bible so i picked the best stories and presented the Old and New Testaments although being a member of the Marcionite's which was a rival to the emerging Catholic's, it has undergone several rewites to add more stories such as Jesus birth to a virgin which the Catholics 'borrowed' from India's Buddha and Romes own Mithra, Garden Of Eden from Persia's Ormuzd, Noah's Ark swiped from Babylonian's Utnapishtim and Jonah and the Whale plagarised from the Hindu's Saktideva but it gradually evolved to the Book that gets thumped today.
In my time there were a lot of different competing Christian sects all with a different view of both the universe and Christ but by clever funding of the Emperor Constantine to mash all the competing sects into one, the Christianity that you ended up with is the Christianity of today and it was my book that is used as the text book for the whole thing.
Well the bits of my books they left and the bits nicked from others religious books but my books are the main bit.
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