Special Guest Blogger: Emperor Elagabalus

Yeah, what's up, i was made the emperor of Rome even though i was barely 14, which was well wicked and i did the typical teenage gnarly things such as holding feasts in my crib and serving live parrots, flamingo brains and mice and before each meal i would consult with a slave how each feast would go and by consult i mean rip open his guts and as they spilled on the floor 'read them' and most said that my jackdaw pudding was going to be scrummy, ace!
Another favourite was to hide a lion in a room and tell my guests to go look at a statue or painting in there, those who survived the lion would join us for the feast, although the food could be a bit rock hard but that was because i would serve bits of wax and rock made to look like food and while they picked their teeth up off the ground i got the real food which was actually really nice, what was i like?
To be fair after being mauled by lions, eating parrots and avoiding slipping on slave guts, i gave them doggy bags, bet you can't guess what was actually in the bags...woof woof...dead puppies, so minging.
I chained naked women to chariots and whipped them as they pulled me around but i was a teenage boy, of course i was going to have naked women pulling me around, what teenage boy wouldn't.
To make myself more popular with the people of Rome i invented my own lottery so you could be well minted like me or you could win a slave or a house but doing all that good stuff got real boring real quick so i spiced things up a bit with the wins including dead pets, boxes full of bees or poisonous snake, it's well random, sweet.
Because i was most def so fantastic, the Senate tried to remove me but when i ordered the execution of anyone involved, they jumped me and chopped off my head and threw my body in the Tiber, most def a bit harsh and not cool.
Boom Boom Bang Bang baby, that's me then so stay in touch yeah.