Special Guest Blogger: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I owe my literary career to being a doctor, as it was during my time as a doctor and Eye Specialist in Portsmouth that i began writing my Sherlock Holmes novels. The people of Portsmouth must eat a lot of carrots because my practise was rarely visited and so each day, after praying for a conjunctivitis epidemic, i would spend my time writing tales of a Detective named Sherringford Hope and his sidekick Ormand Sacker.
It was my wife who suggested Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson were better names and publishers came in and my career took off so i packed in the medical business and wrote full time.
Despite writing i also managed to find time to play in goal for Portsmouth and play cricket for the famous Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) and the Authors XI alongside J. M. Barrie, P. G. Wodehouse and A. A. Milne, in one match the ball hit a tin of matches in my pocket and caught my trousers on fire, talk about a no ball, if i hadn't whipped my trousers off sharpish it would have been no balls at all.
It is interesting how much the English language has changed, back in my day ejaculate meant to utter a short emotional statement but today it means something very different so if i had known i probably wouldn't have had Holmes and Watson ejaculating all over with such abandon.
I had Holmes referring to Watson’s ejaculations of wonder and Watson often ejaculated in the direction of his fiancee and even i can see how in the 21st Century the sentence 'I dropped off to sleep when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up' could cause confusion and the less said about Mrs. St. Clair’s husband ejaculating at her from a second floor window in 'The Man with the Twisted Lip' the better.
Apart from Sherlock Holmes and my many ejaculations, i am also famous for fairies, with two teenage girls who produced a picture of them playing with fairies in their garden. 
I guess i should have used my analytical mind and just dismissed it instead of writing a whole damned book about why fairies are real but the real sting was that the girls who faked the photos cut out the fairy pictures from a book that included one of my own short stories, i did ejaculate quite forcibly when i heard that.