Special Guest Blogger: Keith Moon

I was all for a quiet life, i just never got one because wow were they some messed up days in the 70s.
One of my early school reports called me 'Retarded artistically. Idiotic in other respects with a tendency to show off' and i proudly carried all three of those things into adulthood, a retarded idiot who showed off until the end.
At one of our early shows Pete Townshend smashed his guitar in temper after accidentally breaking it so not to be outdone, i kicked over the drum kit which went down well with the crowd so i did that after every show.
If i wasn't drunk i was high and sniffing shitloads of hallucinogenic drugs up your nose can affect your senses so when i took the drum trashing up a level and loaded gunpowder into one of my bass drums, turned out i used way too much and it exploded and set Pete Townshend's hair on fire and embedded a piece of cymbal in my arm.
It was me who began the rock and roll tradition of wrecking hotel rooms and throwing the furniture out the windows but my favourite trick was to flush powerful explosives down toilets, no toilet in a hotel or changing room was safe from me.
My most famous spree came on my 21st Birthday in Michigan, where i started a food fight, fire extinguishers were set off, guests thrown into the swimming pool and we managed to turn a piano into firewood and one second i was sat in a Lincoln Convertible Car on the lawn beside the pool and then next thing i know i'm sitting in the Lincoln Convertible wondering why the pool is suddenly flooding in the windows and noticing wet pool tiles close up. That got us banned from every Holiday Inn around the World.
I died in Harry Nilsson's place, three years after Cass Elliot had died there and lived up to that famous Who lyric, 'I hope i die before i get old' and the 32 Clomethiazole sedative tablets i took achieved that.