Special Guest Blogger: Edward Gein

Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Silence of the Lambs may not appear to have much in common with each other beyond making you pee your pants but they were all inspired by the same guy, a Wisconsin handyman with a penchant for DIY interior design, aka lil ol' me.
I lived for most of my life in an isolated farmhouse in Wisconsin, with an alcoholic father and fanatically religious mother who shielded my brother and i from the outside world which not strangely, backfired somehow.
After our father died my brother and i had no choice but to seek more work outside the home, my brother started dating a divorced woman and turned away from our beloved mother until he strangely died during a brush fire on our property, officially an accident.
I got my mother all to myself for about a year before she died too and some may say i went a little insane although boarding up her bedroom and concentrating on building up my porn collection is not that insane.
Making expeditions to local graveyards after dark in search of recently buried women who looked like my mother could be deemed a little weird to some folk but unlike the depictions in those films, i was no serial killer and was only officially linked to two murders, the owner of a tavern i shot and dragged back home on a sled and a hardware store clerk who refused me a date.
I killed her and carried her body back home but unfortunately for me, her son was the deputy sheriff, and he was pretty interested in finding out what happened to his mum so he sent the police out to my farmhouse and was pretty ticked to discover her in one of my barns, her decapitated body hung from a rafter by her ankles.
They also found some of her organs in the refrigerator, her heart on the stove but she was all still there, just in different rooms.
As for my home decor DIY skills, my soup bowls were made out of skulls and masks and a bin made from human skin but what pushed them over the edge was the nipple belt, a curtain drawstring made of lips, and a face lampshade.
The authorities held me for 10 years without trial, having been declared too insane to try, until i was found not guilty of the store clerks murder by reason of insanity which was bitter sweet as it meant they could now lock me up in a mental asylum indefinitely.
Lazy Horror movie writers who heard about me wasted no time capitalising on my crimes and although i never received a cent on royalties before i died of cancer, i did watch Psycho and have to admit that that Hitchcock guy crushed it.