Special Guest Blogger: L Ron Hubbard

Despite what you may see and hear, i didn't die in 1986, i merely decided that my physical body had become an impediment to my work so i decided to drop it and continue my research on another plane of existence but we’re racing ahead of ourselves.
I was a sci-fi and fantasy writer and my story begins in 1952 with me sat in a Dentist's chair where a reaction to the drug used in the procedure triggered a near-death experience.
While my life hung in the balance i received a great Message and i was told that i must impart this wisdom to others and that message was Dianetics, a self-help technique revealed to me which would rid individuals of fears and psychosomatic illnesses by erasing them from their mind and after six days of heavy typewriter work, i produced a book called Exalibur which i thought would be revolutionary and have a greater impact than the Bible but others were marginally less impressed including my book editor who took a look and said it won't make me rich, to do that i would need to start a religion.
I went back to my typewriter and edited the basics of Dianetics to elevate it from an earthly self-help system into the realms of a religion i called Scientology and introduced the idea of a Thetan which is the true self of a person trapped in physical bodies and my techniques would free the Thetan to become an Operating Thetan to restore it's original capacities and for just $500, i would reveal all at one of my Spiritual Guidance Centers.
To get traction, i began trying to court celebrities and was unsuccessful in getting famous people of the time to take the opportunity of a promotional interview to alert their fans to the existence of Thetans but even without the big names endorsing my religion, at $500 a pop, i was growing pretty wealthy.
Further revelations were handed down to me and i would add to and embellish Scientology over the years but it really went up a gear when i discovered the secrets to the universe whilst on a trip to South America but this was dangerous knowledge and fraught with peril, i was the first ever person to live after discovering it so i was duty bound to only give it to specially selected people, those who were spiritually ready to achieve the level of Operating Thetan III, prepared to sign a waiver promising to not hold me responsible if they died after coming into contact with this stuff, and to prove their seriousness, paid me hundred of thousands of dollars.
Obviously i cannot tell you these secrets here, Lucy wouldn't be happy if her readers started dying in a few sentences time but it involves an evil, intergalactic tyrant who had an overpopulation problem so sent 13.5 trillion of his people to Earth and were dumped around volcanoes which were promptly blown up with hydrogen bombs which scattered their radioactive souls to occupy the bodies of the Earthly inhabitants.
Plainly that's only the gist of it, i can't say anymore, just knowing this much will probably result in a kidney infection or worse so if you are experiencing feelings of death, please consult a physician.