Special Guest Blogger: HP Lovecraft

One of the reasons i became one of the greatest horror writers ever is that i feared everything, death, illness, Irish immigrants and black people were the things which kept me awake at night which was not a good thing because all my best ideas came to me in my sleep.
I learned to read at the age of two and was writing poetry by the age of six but my childhood was traumatic to say the least, before i was out of short pants my parents went stark, raving bonkers from syphilis and were both committed to a psychiatric hospital, my grandmother died and i was raised by my aunts and grandfather who's idea of making me less scared of the dark was to make the house as dark as possible most of the time to force me to face my fears.
What it did do was give me enough crushing trauma and even more vivid nightmares where i was chased by faceless, black entities would cast me into space which traumatised me silly and scared me so much i grew into a traumatised adult who would sleep late into the days, hate anyone a different colour or accent to me and only leave the house after sunset which did give me a lot of time to read and write poetry and send long, angry letters to magazine editors who published stories i didn't like which impressed editors as white supremacists can usually barely be bothered to string a few racial slurs together.
It was one of these well written letters that caught the eye of Editor of the Argosy magazine who sent me a 'you have a go at writing stories if you think you can do better sunshine' letter and i did, writing down the things in the style of Edgar Allen Poe that i had seen in my nightmares when me sadistic grandfather was making me fall over the furniture in the dark and so began my career of creating stories of spiritual deities hostile towards humans including my most famous creations, the Necronomicon and everyone's favorite octopus-headed cosmic entity, the Cthulhu.
Despite being socially backward, i met and married Sonia Greene, as a 34 year old virgin i even purchased several books on sex before the wedding night.
The marriage went as well as you expected and we split up but i did get a job working as Harry Houdini's ghost writer but my writing was not a money spinner and i spent my life struggling to make ends meet and survived on canned food that had already expired and led to my own expiration due to cancer made worse by malnutrition.
My work was largely unrecognized while i was alive but i did find some fame with my book about cats and dogs which was thinly veiled racism against Jews, black people, Asians, Irish and Italians with whites being the superior cats and the rest being inferior dogs who were as different to human beings as farm animals and even pterodactyls.
Although it has been misunderstood by many who say it wasn't racist and it was all part of my universe where there were weird tentacle faced gods from beyond space and time causing madness and mass suicides, oh it really was, the bit were i say i had no less hatred for Jews, Blacks, Asians, Italians and the Irish than i would have if they were human beings was quite unequivocal i thought.