Special Guest Blogger: Mata Hari

What is a gentleman?  He is kind, polite, and stands by his word. He is well-dressed, and treats a lady with respect but the best gentlemen pay a woman the ultimate compliment by shoving money in her panties and my life was full of gentlemen but i was many things to many different people including a wife, exotic dancer, prostitute, mistress, spy and then tied up surrounded by 12 men but that didn't end with me sitting on an inflatable cushion for a couple of day afterwards like usual.
I had a comfortable upbringing, my father owned a successful hat shop and invested his money into the oil industry and as the old saying goes, there’s money in hats and oil but at the age of 18, i fled my boring life in the Netherlands for the Dutch East Indies to become an officer’s wife but he was a raging alcoholic, but i did develop an interest in Indonesian dance which turned out to be quite a good investment for the future.
Newly divorced, i returned to Europe and considered training to be a nursery teacher but on realising that men enjoyed looking at naked women, reinvented myself as an exotic dancing Hindu Princess who ended her act clad only in a bejeweled bra and headdress and it took the continent by storm.
I got to know some, and sleep with, some very high profile people including the Crown Prince of Germany and the Dutch Prime Minister and i really landed on my feet, and back, and knees, well, you get the idea but although i started the craze for burlesque dancing, there were younger and prettier girls now doing it so i hung up my headdresses and flimsy dance costumes and went full time, high class Courtesan and i was seen with Royalty, business and industrialists and things were sweet until the Germans got uppity and started WW1.
By then i was in a relationship with a Russian pilot serving with the French military, Captain Vadim Maslov, but he was shot down over Germany and as i was Dutch, i was allowed into Germany to see him but the French had a cunning plan that i visit old flame Crown Prince of Germany and i would seduce him and get crucial information about Germany’s strategies.
When i contacted the German's they made me an even better offer if i spied for them against the French so i spied on both but i got caught and arrested as a double agent and for causing the death of 50,000 soldiers and sentenced to be shot.
Refusing the customary blindfold, i walked to the yard, blew the firing squad a kiss but unlike the films, no man in a tuxedo came to rescue me at the last second and my body was donated to a hospital, where it was kept preserved.
Apparently someone stole my head and let's not think too long about why someone might only take the head of an exotic dancer and leave everything else.