I have never read the Bible, it does go on a bit apparently, so the Australians have come up with their own version which cuts out the boring parts and concentrates on the important stuff.
Probably the most important bit, especially at this time of year, is the Nativity though the idea that taking the book and throwing bits of it down the dunny hasn't gone down well with the Churchy type drongo's who like the boring bits.
So written in 'Strine, the Nativity in the Australian Bible is as follows:
'So Joe hiked up from Nazareth to Bethlehem because this spot in the mulga was where King David came from, and Joe's family tree had King David up in the top branches.
He went there to fill in the forms and sign the register with his fiance, Mary, who was a special sheila and pretty near nine months by this time.
While they were there, she gave birth to a baby boy. She wrapped him in a bunny rug, and tucked him up in a feed trough in a back shed, because the pub was full to bursting.
Three eggheads from out east followed a star to find the baby Jesus and announce their arrival with: 'G’day, Your Majesty!'
Almost brilliant enough to forgive them for Prisoner Cell Block H and Rolf Harris, almost.