Wednesday, 19 December 2018

Special Guest Blogger: Jesus

Being 2018 years old my Birthday celebrations are toned down to how they used to be. I would make the most of having Christmas and my Birthday on the same day, it was party, party, party but my Father said my behaviour wasn't befitting the son of God so in the name of multi-culturalism, instead of necking anything mildly alcoholic and chasing angels with a sprig of mistletoe, my father opened up the celebrations to the deities and spiritual representatives of other faiths.
On my birthday last year we had Muhammad, Moses, Abraham, Ganesh, Krishna, Vishnu, Shiva, Zeus, Athena, Buddha, Ra, Odin, Venus and Thor and after the discussion over whether The Bible or Harry Potter was better (we all agreed Harry Potter as it had mail delivering owls and quidditch) we had a game of charades.
I will admit that handing Ganesh the Elephant Man film to act out was not a smart move and calling Abraham, the founding father of the Covenant, Father Abraham and asking him to sing the Smurf Song didn't go down well but things really took a downward spiral when Joseph turned up. 
As my dad, i always feel a bit sorry for Joseph, it can't have been easy for him and he was there for me growing up in a way that The Father never was so i sent him an invite to join in on my special day.
You can imagine the chilly atmosphere that flooded the room when he stepped in, The Father stayed in the kitchen until the party broke up about an hour later and then i had to listen to him rant about how Joseph is just a mortal and it was him who created the World in 6 Days while Joseph took a week just to knock up a spice rack, and even that was wonky.
He calmed down after a few beers and finding some old 'Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em' on the Xmas Gold channel, a bit of Frank Spencer always cheers him up.
We watched 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' until late and just before we turned in to bed i asked him 'Do you think that my birth in Bethlehem all those years ago changed the world for the better?'
He plucked at his beard for a long while, staring into the middle distance and then said, 'Buddha broke the toilet seat, i'll sort it out in the morning' and hastily left the room.
Families huh.

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