Special Guest Blogger: Constantine the Great

You do have to be careful with which religion you choose, there are thousands of them and choose the wrong one and apart from a lifetime of depriving yourself of bacon sandwiches and going without a foreskin, pick the wrong one and when it all ends it's too late to swap sides so i gave a lot of thought to my choice because as the Roman Emporer, what i chose would be imposed on all of my citizens so i based it on thought, logic, reasoning and the beardy sandal wearer that i dreamt about one night.
Plumping for Christianity was a tough choice because we had spent the last few decades persecuting them and pulling down their churches, making a bonfire out of their scriptures and imprisoning them but it was on the eve of a huge battle with Maxentius that Christ appeared in a  dream telling me that i should put a cross on my shield to ensure victory.
I also dreamt that night that i was playing cards with a tiger and a talking marrow but i went with the cross thing and kicked roman arse so i decided Christianity was the way to go and set about replacing the pagan Gods with the Christian one but not completely, i hedged my bets slightly and kept worshiping some of the original Gods such as Victoria, Apollo, Diana and Hercules just in case.  
I wrote the Edict of Milan which declared that we shouldn't be beastly to the Christians anymore and called a meeting in Nicaea to lay out the rules for Christians and bring together all the different factions under one.
Along with the bishops of all provinces, we came up with when to celebrate Easter, how Jesus as the Son of God fits into the whole Christian thing, the rules around repentance and penance and that God had always been there, just overshadowed by the believers of the louder, more showy pagan Gods. We also agreed on Chi spelt X being a shortened version of Christ so the plebs only needed to know how to spell X in order to write his name.
With the Christian thing rubber stamped, i returned to Emporering and the first thing i did was have my eldest son put to death by forcing him to drink posion for having an affair with his step mother, my wife, who i ordered to have a hot bath, a very hot bath, so hot in fact that it killed her.
So apart from starting the whole Christian bandwagon rolling, founding Constantinople and uniting the Roman Empire, i also gave us the word Xmas which came in very handy long after i died and someone finally remembered that Jesus was born on December 25th.