Drink Beer And Be Healthy Say's Aussies

If ever a nation was going to find that Beer is good for you, it would be the Australian's and sure enough, the NOVA University Lisbon has issued a report that found that men who drank a bottle of lager each day had healthier guts.
The report was written in Australian by probably the only sober person available, and remember this is Australia so by sober they actually mean the only person still capable of typing, so i will translate it.

G'day Sheila's and Bloke's (Hello Ladies and Gentlemen)

Us Dag's at the University of Lisbon down here in Straya (The scientists at the Lisbon University in Australia) have been Flat out doing experiments on Stubbies (working hard on beer experiments) to find a reason to drink beer.
We downed a few slabs (experimented on several alcoholic beverages), no Bludger's here mate (we work very hard), and discovered that Crikey, (Wow) a cold one each day (a bottle of lager) increased healthy bacteria in the gut by 7%.
We did it again to make sure it was Fair Dinkum (honest and true) and was as stoked as a dingo in a billabong (happy to notice) it was true so Fair go mate, Fair suck of the sauce bottle. (we were very satisfied with the results)
So don't bother with the Billy (teapot), throw a snag (Sausage) on the barbie (BBQ) and you and a few cobbers (friends) grab the coldies (lagers) from the Esky (coolbox) and down a few (drink responsibly) and remember, if the betta arf (wife or girlfriend) is sook at ya (not pleased with her partner) at you downing a stubby at Brekky (drinking alcohol at the morning meal), tell her your not getting bugged (inebriated) earlier than usual, your just increasing your gut health.

Hooroo Cobbers. (Goodbye fellow colleagues)

So what that all means is that Australians now have another reason to drink alcohol which to be fair, in a country where they spend most of their time trying to not be murdered by the wildlife, seems fair enough to me.