Sign Them God's Up!

The Security Guard at work is an Arsenal fan and we generally discuss the trials and tribulations of being a Gooner when i pass him on the way in and out of the Office.
Now i knew he was a deeply religious guy, often i see him knocking around outside the Prayer Room and as a Muslim he goes in and out quite a bit so when he said he was excited about us signing [Gabriel] Jesus, i immediately went to a joke and answered that if we can also get Mohammad, Buddha and that Indian one with all the arms to play in goal then we could have enough miracles to finish in the top 4 next season.
Obviously he didn't find that as funny as i did and he hasn't mentioned it since but it's a no-brainer, the Indian Goddess (i googled her and is called Durga), has 10 arms, she would be unbeatable in goal.
Another Indian God who would be a good signing is Ganesha, the man had the head of an elephant, stick him in the back four and with his thick head any clearances would sail away over the terraces or set the Greek God Hermes away down the line, the man had wings on his boots, he would make Usain Bolt look like he was running backwards.
Another Greek is the God Kaos, who appeared in a void before their was anything so he is used to being in a place with no atmosphere so ideal for those away games at Tottenham, West Ham and Manchester City.
As for Jesus, a regular saying is that Jesus Saves so he could be a handy back up Goalkeeper except for what i remember from my religious Education at school...all together now...he wasn't great on crosses.