Special Guest Blogger: Jewish God Lilith

You probably know the story of Adam of Eve but how about Adam and Lilith? Didn't think so, they keep that particular story quiet so hardly anyone knows that Eve was actually the second attempt at a woman, i was the first but the religious crowd had a zero tolerance policy when it came to their women acting like they were all unique and independent so wimpy Adam wet his big boy pants and complained to the big guy that i wasn't obedient enough for his liking so they binned me and bought in a more subservient one instead.
Obviously i wasn't going to take that nonsense so i decided to ruin their little game of happily ever after by getting them to make a mess of things in the Garden of Eden so i turned myself into a snake and sidled up to Eve one day and told her that those apples look mightily tasty and the simpleton went and ate one.
After that they got booted out of the paradise garden so with my work done and not caring that much for all that gardening by myself, that and the fact God had sent a bunch of angels, Sanvi, Sanssanvi and Semangalef, to drag me back to God knows where, i slipped off to buddy up with a bunch of demons and when they caught up with me, my new demonic pals and i told them to sling their hook or i was going to find employment as a vampire who spealised in sucking the blood of babies.
We did reach a compromise of they would leave me alone in exchange for an agreement that if the parents name-checked either of the three angels, those babies would be spared so if you have worries about a new baby, all you have to do is scribble the Angel names on a scrap of paper and tape it to the baby’s head.
So my final words are to you ladies, don't measure your self worth in relation to a man, do physical labour, cut your hair short, grew out your body hair, drink pints of cider and get a tattoo, don't get sucked into their hopeless patriarchy.