So what if i was the second most powerful and one of the wealthiest men in England, he was the King even if he never really had the temperament for it and changed the nation's religion just so he could get his leg over, that's his business, not mine.
Twenty years of service i gave him, as Chaplain, then as Cardinal and Chief Advisor getting him whatever he wanted and helping him to run England successfully and prosecute anyone who annoyed him such as his ex-mistress, Anne Stafford, but it another Anne who turned the King's bright ginger head and bought about my downfall.
Anne Boleyn had been involved romantically with one of my pages, Henry Lord Percy, the Earl of Northumberland, but i knew the fat monarch was interested in her so i put a stop to the romance by dispatching Percy far away which annoyed Anne enormously so she vowed to see me destroyed but i knew that as long as i was in the King’s favour i was untouchable, even though she tried many times to bring me down.
I also knew despite him being a complete jerk, he had an eye for the ladies and he may have been a man with the stomach for a fight but he showed a woeful lack of self-control in the face of a pretty face and a heaving cleavage so i would have to be smart when Anne Bow-legs-lyn began flirting and making demands of him.
First she said that my home in Hampston Court was far too good for a mere Cardinal and he agreed but left me living there for the moment and then he asked me to arrange a marriage between his daughter Mary and the most powerful man in Europe, Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, but that proved tricky to arrange as he was 21 and she was only 6 so he married another princess which the red haired git blamed me for.
My final error was my failure to gain the porky Henry an annulment from the Pope from his marriage to Catherine of Aragon so he could marry Anne Boelyn and Henry cast me out of Hampston Court, giving it to Anne Boleyn, charged me with high treason and ordered a trial.
Obviously the head choppy nutjob was going to have me executed but i beat him to it, dying of natural causes in my cell first so up yours fatty, too slow.
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