Economics And The Prince Of Aldovia

Things had taken a downward turn and the country was entering recession and there i was in the canteen trying to decide whether to enter 80p for the last Snickers Bar or just give the machine a good shake when the big, big, BIG boss walked in and said 'Ah, i'm glad i bumped into you'.
Immediately my mind went to 'Bugger, what have i done' and as my mind raced back over any recent indiscretions he said that due to the economic turmoil we were going to go big on Economics and as i was once the financial advisor to Prince Richard of Aldovia could i give a quick 30 min update on some of the terms and what they mean to the younger staff members.
Obviously my mouth said 'Of Course, no problem' but my mind went 'Crap. I knew that putting that fake entry using people from a Christmas Movie on my CV would come back to bite me on the arse' so i set about thinking how could i blag my way out of this because knowing anything about economics to me is like a diet sheet to Boris Johnson, never the twain shall meet.
I turned up to see about 40 fresh young faces waiting with notepads and pens poised, ready to jot down whatever pearls of wisdom i imparted so i shuffled my papers, looked at the clock and took a deep breath and began.
I started by saying that the most important thing was to pitch your efforts at the lowest of the potential audience, so think PE Teacher or Estate Agent, and avoid using long words like Stagflation, Deflation and Hyperinflation because it would only confuse them.
Happy that i had craftily avoided having to explain what they were as i had no idea, i looked again at the clock and saw i still had 29 minutes to fill so then went on to give some long, winding explanation of how the prices at the petrol pumps was a great example of how a shortage of a commodity means that the producer can charge more for that thing and because the demand is high, they can charge more for it.
A few hands went up but i managed to deflect by saying could they keep any questions to the end as we are pressed for time and i had a lot to get through and the hands, thankfully, went down again.
The clock said 15 minutes to go so i shuffled my papers while i desperately tried to remember the recent chat i had with a Financial Expert at the start of the year but all i could remember about that was her lovely, stylish red kitten heel shoes and coming out of the interview with the word 'Coat' scribbled down, damn my lack of attention and the ease which my mind wanders to a tropical island where David Boreanaz is serving me a Sea Breeze while dressed in only a pair of tight speedos and a glint in his eye whenever mind numbingly boring topics are mentioned.
With ten minutes to go i went for the good old fashioned blag, throwing in as many economic terms that i could drag forth from my brain so i said some people advocate Keynesian Economics that focuses on changes in the economy over the short run and as we all know short term planning can play havoc with everything, a good example is Leeds United. Under David O' Leary they paid top price for players and stretched the clubs finances too far and while they made it to the European Cup and recouped what they lost, when they missed out they were forced to sell those players to keep the club afloat and...10 minutes of talking Football and throwing about some random economic sounding words such as capital, deficit, fiscal and consumer goods, i saw it was half ten and announced the meeting over.
Eager hands shot up again and i explained that unfortunately the meeting had over-run and the boss would have my guts for garters if i kept them any longer but if they did have any questions, to email them to me and i would answer them.
Breathing a huge sigh of relief i shuffled them out the door and making a mental note to delete all emails i received today, went back to the canteen and the snack machine to see that the last Snickers had gone.
Oh how i wish i was back in Aldovia sometimes!