Greenland's Own MAGA

The first words of the American Vice President, JD Vance, when he landed in Greenland was to mumbles that: 'It's cold as shit here' so to go with his cold fingers and toes was a cold shoulder which was delivered courtesy of the Greenlander's themselves who had their own idea of MAGA, their's was 'Making Arseholes Go Away' which they did in a hastily rearranged trip.  
The initial plan was for Mrs Vance to pop over with her son and attend the Avannaata Qimussersua dog sled race and grab a few photo ops of her interacting with smiling and happy looking Greenlander's to promote the boneheaded narrative that Greenlander's want to join the U.S. which they are openly trying to annex.
Everything changed though when the organisers of the dogsled race said the Americans weren't invited and a reported advance-party of officials were unable to find a local family who would be pleased to welcome them and suddenly the Vance offspring had to stay at home and go to school so dad and his friends would be going instead.
Rather than tasting Greenland culture and seeing the welcoming faces of the locals, due to angry locals protesting about the taking over of their country by the Jaffa Caked coloured moron and his best friend (who apparently no longer thinks Trump is an idiot, reprehensible and comparable to Hitler like he said a while ago), the visiting party were greeted by their own troops while making a whistle-stop tour of an American Military Facility and then swiftly danced out again before they got dinged on the head by a snowball.
While the rest of the World look on at the people running America now and making that universal sign of twirling your finger around your temple and making cuckoo noises, Donald Trump's new best friend and cheerleader in the Kremlin observed that:  'America’s plans in relation to Greenland are serious. These plans have deep historical roots. And it’s clear that the US will continue to systematically pursue its geo-strategic, military-political and economic interests in the Аrctic'.
While Vance was avoiding meeting people in Greenland, Donald Trump was making a speech where he said that with regards to Greenland, America needs it for: 'National security purposes' but he didn't explain who they needed security from, surely they don't need to be safe from those nice Russians do they?