Special Guest Blogger: Saint Christina

When i died in my early twenties, it was no great surprise, people were dropping dead like flies in the 12th Century so they did the usual thing and laid me out in a coffin and got all the friends and family together to say nice things about me and drop me into a 6ft hole.
They had just got to the 'Thank you for coming today' part when i opened my eyes and sat up and causing
every person in the congregation to make a mess in every pair of pants they owned.
If that wasn't enough coming back from death gave me an amazing sense of smell and i could smell the nasty sin and on all the unwashed people in the room so i levitated up to the rafters to escape it.
When the screaming had stopped i explained that Angels had taken my soul on a tour of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory and i was then given a choice of remaining in Heaven or returning to Earth to perform penance to guide souls to Heaven and away from Hell and Purgatory.
Before you say say 'Earth please' i was back in my body and sitting up in my coffin and getting a noseful of nasty sinners.
My penance was to renounce all comforts of life so i didn't half-ass it with some minor self-flagellation, i dressed in rags, lived without a home and eagerly sought all that could cause me suffering so i took to throwing myself into fires, plunging into frozen rivers and a few times i got dragged around on the water mill but the townsfolk never saw me as doing God's penance, they thought me either possessed or as mad as a box of frogs so they threw me in prison.
After being incarcerated i moderated my approach somewhat and stopped flinging myself into danger and slept in tombs and caves, climbed trees and buildings which not only got me lots of exercise but also probably why i died a second time at 74 and stayed dead this time much to the annoyance of the Dry Cleaners who were hoping for another bumper payday but i stayed in my coffin this time.