Special Guest Blogger: Donald Rumsfeld

There are things we know we know and there are some things we don't know but there are also unknown unknowns and one of those was where Saddam put his damned Weapons of Mass Destruction because we know he had them, i was one of the people who sold him shed loads of the stuff.
I probably came onto most peoples radars during my second term as Secretary of Defense after the 9/11 attacks but my first term was under Gerald Ford where i became the youngest person to serve in that role and then under George W Bush when i was the second oldest.
That photograph of me shaking hands with Saddam in the 1980's to seal the deal of the arms, money, satellite intelligence and chemical & bio-weapon precursors always bothered me, not that they were used on the Iranians, but that it should have given us the fig leaf to invade Iraq to destroy the WMD's but we were unaware that he had actually beaten us to it and rather ungraciously got rid of them years before.
Not that him not actually having the WMD's stopped me, i just went on claiming Iraq had Chemical, Nuclear and Biological weapons and threw in that he was pals with Bin Laden's gang anyway and luckily we had George W Bush calling the shots, a man who couldn't chew gum and walk because he was too stupid to open the gum wrapper in the first place.
Why we invaded a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 was never really answered which is just as well really because we never really had one except the billions of tonnes of oil sat under Iraq but we couldn't admit it, so just made shit up instead and a million dead Iraqi's later we had it under our control, and our former pal Saddam was swinging from the end of a rope so go us. Iraq is a basket case full of terrorists but America is 5,000 miles away, so what did we care.
It almost never happened, the pussies at the UN were all NO WAY and their Weapons Inspectors were coming back empty handed so we told them to get out and launched a devastating shock and awe attack on them anyway.
Luckily the Iraq thing overshadows the fact that when i was on the Board of Asea Brown Boveri, we sold light-water nuclear reactors to North Korea and we know they still got them so no need to make stuff up this time if we find oil under the northern part of the Korean peninsula.
Anyway, i am proud to have given the World The War Against Terror (T.W.A.T.) against nations like Iraq, Libya, Venezuela and Iran which, as luck would have it, just happened to be filled to the gills with oil, that's a known known.