Special Guest Blogger: Saint Olaf of Norway

There is no denying that i was a Viking and our culture was based on seafaring warfare, piracy and sporting natty horned helmets as we pillaged, raped and burned down a local monastery or village or two so there are not many other Saints whose average day was all about getting as drunk as possible, sailing into a foreign land and then setting fire to it's buildings and as the King of Norway i had to set an example so got drunker than most.  
I was nicknamed Olaf the Thick, not because i lacked the brain-cells although the Mead surely destroyed quite a lot of them, but because i had arms and legs like tree trunks, and a belly like one too and when i wasn't pillaging or toasting my hands on a burning Monastery, i was dispensing Christian values.
It was on the way back from ransacking London that i stopped off at Normandy and met Duke Richard II who told me all about Christianity and how it would help to unite Norway and he would love to have Norway on the side of God so i was baptized and set about it by following the Golden
Rule of 'Love Thy Neighbour' although the Viking version meant something a bit different to what it does today and i loved them to death by annihilating the other kings of Norway, raiding Denmark, Iceland and Sweden and burning down any other temple to the ground and building a Christian Church in its place.
I was the ultimate badass, a God-fearing Viking king until a bigger and badasser God fearing King called Cnut the Great promptly handed me my own ass at the Battle of the Helgea but i wasn't completely beaten and came back two years later with an army to show him and his gang exactly who the real King was. Sadly, it wasn't me and he killed with an enormous axe.
Numerous churches in Norway, Sweden, and Iceland are dedicated to me and the Church had no qualms with me bringing Christianity to Scandinavia by brute force because they made me a Saint for it and in my coat of arms i am shown to be holding a Cross in one hand and a Battleaxe in the other showing the oh so Viking way converting people to Christianity or else.